I can sleep through almost anything. Sleeping is one of my best skills. If sleeping were a major sport, I’d be a first ballot hall of famer, no question. I can sleep anywhere, anytime, give me five minutes, and I’m out.

So, it was quite a surprise when I was awakened this morning (at 5:40 am) by the persistent calls of a duck with bad timing. That may be understating it. This duck was insane with her noise making skills. And it was so consistent. It was quite impressive. I thought it would go away, but after a few minutes, I realized this was a matter that was going to require me to get out of bed. So I did. And to the back window I went. And sure enough, there she was…clamoring away.

For the most part, you rarely see a female duck (a hen, for all you sticklers of wildlife nomenclature) without a male (drake) following close behind. Ducks mate for life, and you’ll most always see them in pairs. But this duck was alone, early in the morning, causing a ruckous. My guess is that the male duck was probably hiding around the corner. He’d probably gotten fed up with her nagging and had snuck off in the night. She was trying to track him down and he was likely just trying to get a moment’s peace. Like me, at 5:40 AM.

So I prepared to rid my yard of said duck. I grabbed a bowl and went to the freezer and filled it with ice cubes. (I have experience chasing ducks out of my pool and ice cubes are great for throwing because you don’t have to clean them up). I went and got my flip flops as I didn’t want to step barefoot into the quarter inch layer of pollen that presently adorns everything outdoors. Her clamoring continued. I went to the back door, opened it prepared to step out and begin launching my frozen projectiles in her general vicinity. But as soon as the door opened, she flew off.

Darn, I so needed to throw something.