For the second semester of kindergarten, Joshua was required to keep a journal. Each day the teacher would instruct them to write in their journal. Most days she would give them a topic or a starter sentence about which to think and write.

Here is a selection of Joshua’s writings, unedited:

Summer is osum. I like sumer. Summer is fun becus I get to go out side a lot! Wut is summer? Summer vcasin wil be fun.

Water slides are so so so osum. I luve them . The are so so so so so so so so cool. They rock.

Merry go rounds are no fun becuse I get disy. Wut is a merry go round? Marry go rounds go very fast.

When I cough I cough on my (word unidentifiable) becus I am sick. Ok. Wut? Ok that wusint a cough. Wut ok. Wut is a cough? ha ha I tict you.

Roller coasters are not fun. I has nevr went on one befre. But they are sgary. They go up rere high. They omost go in the sky.

When I has hop I go rire hi hi hi hi hi hi. I can hop like a bune. I can hop rire fast soe I can hop like a cagru.

When I sneeze I get a tikil. When I sneeze I get on my sufu and wock TV. Bcuse Im sik. The end.

My hair is not logn. My hair is shrt. Becaus I am a boy. Wut is a prin with no hair? A no hair prsin.

My bicycle has flat tir. I am sad. I am not happy. Wie do my bicycle have a flat tier? Wate. Alex’s bicycle has a flat tier. Both uvus ar sad. Alex and I do not on wie.

My church is unuuing. I do not like it. It is not fun. Cume on. Wate. Cole dusit like church. Yes Cole dusit like church. I luve you Cole.

I do not like balay. I do no like brbese. I do not like prisesizs. I do no like pink. I do not like nena nena star balurena. I do not like babe cats.

When I look at the sky I see evethin. Wiy do I find evething? Our Im not looki I thats wed. I omos fond sifugh.

When I read I read ulot of books. Piggie and Grld is my favorit book. I luve to read. Wut is a book with piksrz.

When I pray I pray whatevr I kin. You kan pray at nun or night any time is owrit. I pray (unidentifible word that I believe means upstairs) my favorovite prt uv pragh is pragh to God and Jsuse. Wut is ur favorit prt ubot prayin?

The Sun is up at day. The Sun is not up at night. The mon is up.

When I watck ants I stope on they. Then I uaft to go home bekis I play at my cusis haws.

Have you ever playd Star Wras the clon Wras? you haveit cume on but (unidentifiable word) plad it. you grls ar sariris or ar you grls sariris?

At night I make my bed. Afdr I mak my bed I wgh TV. Afdr I wgh TV Alex and I go to bed.

In the morning I get rety for sklll. Afdr I get rety, I hav brefais and afdr I aet brfais I do I go to sgllck? Yes!

My grandadd is mene. It’s wede that my graddad is not mene to Alex!

My grandmom lusve me. Wut is my grandmom lik to do agen? My grandmom lube my (?brother?). My grandmom luve the clrs red, blew, gen, prple, pink, yullo, black.

Worms are slimy! Wut ar worms? Worms are cool! I pikit up a worm befr. I wus five.

I luove to eat candy becus it waks up my barn! Wut is canulop? I like to eat popsicls! I do not like apos but I like apllo sos. I like to eat uokm. I like to eat bulsas popsikls.

I like to play dojbo. I like to play awtsod! I like to play basball. Wut is futball?

Snow is fun. Snow is cool. Wut is snow? Snow is cool. On snow days I like to hav hotgklit. On skle days wen it snows sklee is fun.

Play dough is fun. Play dough is cul. Play dough is stiky.

My father likes to play Xbox 360. My father like to do wrk. My father like to wa TV. My father is nis. My father is fun. My father is tol.

My mother likes to take a sowr becaus it makes my mother clena. My mother like to wos the disis. My mother likes to make hr bed.

I hope the por gos awt becase I like the por out. I like the darck.

Singing I like to Singing becase it makes nus. I like singing becas it make me hape.

I do not like to wask my face and hands because it dus not make me clena.

I like to take a shower because it maks me clen. I like to take a bath because it maks me.

I like to brussh my teeth because my teeth belon to me.

I like Easter becuse I like to fined easter eggs.

My favorite color is. Red is my favorite color. Red is clu.

When it rains, Rains is wet.

I had difficulty interpreting some of the writing, so I enlisted Joshua’s help. Some of the handwriting was so questionable, that even he couldn’t decipher it. I commented that his teacher, Mrs. Harrison, must have been able to read it because she made relevant comments on every page. I asked, “Why was Mrs. Harrison able to read it?” to which he replied, “Because she wears glasses”.

Alex has taken to watching Wheel of Fortune. We’ve been watching it together the last couple of nights at his request and I’m happy to oblige any opportunity to prove that I’m still smarter than he is.

It has been quite some time since I watched Wheel of Fortune. They’ve made quite a few changes to the show. They now have fancy puzzle types, and speed puzzles, and the contestants stand in front of a screen which displays random nature videos. One minute there is a flowing stream in the background, then a mountain trail, then a swimming pool. Kind of odd. But it illustrates the technological advances that have been made as the shows set has changed during its 26 year run.

That’s right. 26 years. I was pretty much Alex’s age when the show started. And for all the changes of the past 26 years, Pat Sajak and Vanna White remain. Hard to believe Vanna White is now in her fifties. For almost three decades she’s been clapping her hands and “turning letters” like flash cards. I put “turning letters” in quotes because that’s not exactly the case anymore. In the early days, she did indeed have to turn the letters around to reveal them. But these days, there is no turning. She need only to delicately touch the corner of a letter block for the letter to magically appear. Except in the case of the speed puzzles. There she need only to touch the corner of the entire puzzle board and the individual letters magically appear at random on their own.

It is painfully obvious that there is nearly no point to Vanna’s job. We all know that the letters are digitally displayed and that some pimple faced geek is in the back pushing buttons on his keyboard to make the letters appear. But that’s not how tv works. And Vanna is an icon. Besides, after 26 years, she deserves a break.

Below is a video of the early days of Wheel of Fortune. Remember when the contestants had to spend their money at the end of each round? Hilarious. And I like how they made the contestants turn away from the puzzle for the commercial break. Enjoy.

Wheel of Fortune from 1982

It’s 55 degrees outside, overcast, and slightly rainy. That didn’t stop Joshua from trying to convince me that he wanted to go swimming today. The fact that the pool has been open since Monday and he made it until today is impressive. But his patience had worn thin and despite the damp, cool weather, he wanted to swim.

I figured the best way to move past his insanity was to let him experience the 64 degree water for himself. So, after a riveting discussion as to why swimming was not a good idea, I relented and said go for it. But, I told him, “try putting your feet in the water first.” I bet him he wouldn’t last two minutes. So out he went and in his feet went. And he giggled.

He insisted it wasn’t cold. I insisted it was. Finally, he told me, “if you stay in for a bit, it warms off”. It “warms off”, I asked? “Yep”. “Awesome”.

Fortunately, the rain picked up a bit and I was able to convince him to come back inside despite the impending “warming off” of the water.